I feel lost.
That’s how I’ve been feeling in the last few weeks, or maybe it’s been much longer than my brain is capable of processing it.
It’s the feeling of being trapped in this big long tunnel. Everyone tells you that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but you sense the day you find that light may not come. You are wandering through this tunnel with this little candle in your hand that is almost gone. It’s just enough for you to get through a few more miles, but that’s it. You don’t know if you would be able to find a new candle anytime soon, or ever. You can’t imagine surviving this tunnel with no candle. You feel alone, cold, and scared.
And like that isn’t bad enough, as you keep going through this tunnel, there are all these writings on the wall telling you all kinds of things you don’t really need to hear.
“I’ve been through this tunnel, you can do it”
“Everyone already found that light at the end and are enjoying the sun now, it’s just you, loser, that still struggles with this”
“You millennials *SMH*”
“There’s no light dude. You were right all this time. You don’t see the light because there’s no light. Might as well just give up and lay around in the dark here”
But what do you do with these feelings? Everyone around you is so go-go-go. Everyone on your social media looks like they have figured life out. They are so successful and bright and sparkling after they made it through the tunnel.
And this is not another blog to tell you that there will be a light at the end of that tunnel.
Not very inspiring is it? My husband will give me a pitying look as he reads this. But it is true and I can’t write anything if I don’t feel it’s real.
But after I’ve been thinking about it for a while I have a few things that I wanna share with you:
Life is not really a tunnel that you need to go through
It’s not that long journey of darkness. The light is not at the end of it. Maybe it’s more like, walking through the dark jungle. It’s a little rough, no man has been on this path before. It’s your path and yours alone. No one knows how to walk it. There might be people that have been through the jungle, but not this path that you are walking on.
Sometimes, unexpectedly, you find a beautiful crystal clear waterfall that you can just jump right in and freshen up. And suddenly you feel like this jungle path is not so bad. Think about those times you got to drink the perfect hot chocolate on a cold day. Maybe the day you bump into this super adorable dog randomly on the street, and he likes you as much as you like him. Or the moment when someone says he is proud of you. It’s pretty nice, isn’t it?
And maybe some other times you might find yourself in this dark zone with scary monkeys sound all around you while it’s raining. You are lost, cold, and scared. You might get eaten by the monkey, or you might as well just get through it. Who knows? But you really do have a chance to make it to another beautiful waterfall again. On the day you feel like the whole world is turning against you, I want you to remember that you have a real chance to get through it. There’s a more beautiful day in the future, and you know that.
After all, it’s a journey. It’s this path that you are walking on. No one knows how to live your life. No one has been through it the way that you have. Enjoy little things as much as you can, that little sunshine here and there on your darkness. And you might find yourself not looking for that “light at the end of the tunnel” anymore.
You are not alone
I know, I know, that’s basic but I want to tell you that it’s true. This means everyone is lost too. They are walking on their own path for the first time as well. People you see founding their own company, doing TED Talks, or having a beautiful family. Those people that seem like they have figured it all out. They might feel as lost as you are. Don’t beat yourself up just because you feel misplaced, not-belonged, or simply stupid. You are not alone, dude. At least I feel that way too and I’m telling you that it’s okay.
We are only humans doing our best to get through this life. If you are tired, rest. If you are hungry, eat. If you want to love, do it. Let me put it this way, if you feel like you are already at the bottom, there’s nothing to lose, is there?
Find your people
There will always be someone who loves you just the way you are. There’s someone waiting to help you feel a little less lost. Maybe someone can even give you a raincoat or a towel when you feel wet and cold. I was gonna write about how you should find the community who is interested in the same thing with you or reach out to friends and family to talk to, but you know all that stuff. I believe that the first step is to realize that it’s possible and you are capable to be loved. Once you realize that you are able to spark some light in this darkness, you will know what to do next 🙂
And yes, like mentioned before, this might not be a very inspiring blog that will change your life or make your day that much better. But really, the whole point is to make sure you know that you are not in the dark all by yourself. I feel that darkness too, a lot of people do. And it is okay ❤
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PS: Please feel free to reach out to me if you need to talk to someone. Just simply leave the comment and I’ll get back to you.